Not wearing a bra and guess how many fucks I give!
— Me!
Awkward Proverbs Dance Aoki's words of wisdom (or folly)
Number one! Right here! This guy!
— An adorable waiter pointing to himself. I’m not entirely sure what it was in reference to, but it made me giggle at the time.
I’m going to reverse date-rape you and tell you that you don’t need to finish that drink.
— Another great Ivy quote.
Fish
- Me: Ivy, I had such a beautiful fish for dinner.
- Ivy: Why do you say "I had A fish for dinner." It's just fish. You had fish for dinner.
- Me: Because I'm only one person and I just made one fish. So I had a fish for dinner.
- Ivy: But when you say you had A fish, it makes me think that you went out and caught a fish and then you scaled it and you ate it.
- Me: That's sort of the idea I was going for.
I Got Drunk and Had an Angus Deluxe
1 note
- Ivy: Did you say...
- Me: Angus Deluxe. I had an Angus Deluxe from McDonalds.
- Ivy: Because I thought you said "Anus Deluxe."
- Everyone: ...
- Ivy: What if we lived in a parallel universe where it was the thing friends did for each other to put out personal ads in the paper to find you a boyfriend. And in this parallel universe, it was cool to describe your friend in extremely explicit and specific ways. So like if I was putting a personal ad out for you, I'd totally include the detail about how you have an Anus Deluxe.
- Me: Oh my God, Ivy. You've killed me. I'm dead.
